the men in my dreams
	keep asking me to marry them.
	except for my friend michael
	nobody's ever asked me to marry him
	and michael and i decided we would get married
	in five years
	if neither one of us was already married.
	that was seven years ago
	and if i remember    i proposed.
	my first reaction to that question
	was, why?
	last night it was
	why? i don't even know you very well.
	he said, why not?
	and i said,
	my mom and my dad got married, and after 25 years they got divorced.
	my grandmother and grandfather got married and they're divorced now too.
	my other grandmother got married, her husband died
	and i don't know her well enough to ask why she never remarried but
	i know she didn't want to.
	all my friends got married   and divorced.
	ellen and dave got married and divorced.
	terry married whats his name and now they're divorced.
	he said, how do you know we're not different?
	i said, we don't even know each other, how do you know we are?
	he was very depressed.
	he had brown hair.
	there is nothing else i remember about either one of them
	they didn't even have names
	but they both had brown hair.
	last week
	he said, i don't want you to leave here.
	willyoumarryme?
	you can quit your job.   we can get married and have kids.
	i said, why?
	he said, stay with me.
	but i don't think i want to quit my job, i said.
	we were at the denver airport.
	i had missed my plane to san diego
	because my ticket said san francisco and i had to exchange it
	but there weren't anymore flights to san diego
	so i was going to go to san francisco first.
	he said, why don't you just stay here, with me
	you could quit your job. we could buy a house and have kids.
	i said, but we hardly know each other.
	he was my x-roommates brother, the one i never really met.
	i was collecting glass insulators for my mom
	in illinois
	in the fields
	under the powerlines
	behind meghan's house.
	i met him there.
	it was morning and he held the barbed-wire fence apart
	so i could climb through to go back to the house.
	he had brown hair.
	he said, don't go i'll miss you
	but i took the next plane home.
	i told gregg about my dreams
	and asked him what he thought they meant
	he said, it shows you're happy with your life now
	as it is
	you don't want to be married.
	but then why do they keep asking?